laura's tummy hurts.

ouch.

the metal shop was shut down three and a half hours sooner than expected, so instead of completing my ugly sculpture i sat around cj's and talked art with johnny.  and then i came back here and ate stromboli and sulked.  and now i'm wishing i could draw pictures in my mind while my body is wrapped and piled in blankets and warmth, but that is entirely impossible, so i will have to head back to the studio at some point to stain my skin with charcoal.

but i don't wanna, mamma.

   wishlist:
- scotch tape
- razah blaydz
- chocolate milk
- cherry cola
- vacuum
- black fingernail polish
- bfk rives
- rolo icecream
- matches
- stain-resistant fingertips

i remember the stupid things, the mood rings, the bracelets and the beads,
the nickels and dimes, yours and mine.  did you cash in all your dreams?
you don't dream for me, no. (goodbye, goodbye) you don't dream for me, no,
but i still feel you pulse like sonar from the days in the waves.

that girl is like a sunburn.

- never let you go, third eye blind

But accountability applies not only to those who hold positions of power. It also applies to all of us. It requires business leaders to work for HIV prevention in the workplace and in the wider community, and to care for affected workers and their families. It requires health workers, community leaders and faith-based groups to listen and care, without passing judgement. It requires fathers, husbands, sons and brothers to support and affirm the rights of women. It requires teachers to nurture the dreams and aspirations of girls. It requires men to help ensure that other men assume their responsibility -- and understand that real manhood means protecting others from risk. And it requires every one of us help bring AIDS out of the shadows, and spread the message that silence is death.   

I will soon be stepping down as Secretary-General of the United Nations. But as long as I have strength, I will keep spreading that message. That is why World AIDS Day will always be special to me. On this World AIDS Day, let us vow to keep the promise -- not only this day, or this year, or next year -- but every day, until the epidemic is conquered. 

i had other things to say but they vanished from here and were probably lame anyway.

instead, let me tell you the truth: i miss the yukon.  i miss how bigbig everything looks and how whitehorse is so crappy and how the hemp store, rehab centre, salvation army corps, florist, elementary school and adult superstore are all on the same block.  and i miss it being freezing and smelling bad and washing my hair in the lake.  and i miss canoeing like my arms are falling off with a four-year-old in the front.  i miss the tim hortons.  i miss sleeping on the sanctuary floor in between pip and elvis [despite how awkward that sounds when retold later].  i miss sleeping on our squeaky boards and thinking how romantic it all was.  i miss being cold and dusty all the time.  i miss getting blackflies stuck in my eyeballs on horseback.  i miss christina wetting herself constantly.  i miss how my clothes reeked of bacon grease after every meal and i miss having flight school in the dining hall.  i miss the craft room and those sweet pillows.  i don't miss the wrestling outfits.  i miss waking up and thinking, "i'm in the yukon."  i miss not knowing what to do, ever.  i miss the beaver.  i miss fat bird and our beautiful island.  i miss being around people who just do what they do.  i miss remembering that life is an adventure and believing that i am immune to head lice and eating bannock.

and i miss shelley.

do you remember when we made that promise to throw a party if one of us died?  with balloons and pinatas.  i can't remember what else, but i know it was gonna be a good time.  so we should put that in our wills or something, just to be sure.  and include guestlists, so nobody gets forgotten.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

it's a fine white line you're stumbling across...

- melt into the walls, pilate

---

what if there were three or four of me instead of only one?  would i have more difficulties with hand-eye coordination?  or no?

you know, it would make sense that artists would have good aim, but i have a sneaking suspicion that it is not so.  at least, i hope.

plus, oh man, the poster sale starts tomorrow and i am so excited.  i've been looking forward to this for weeks.

but i have quality time to spend.  and that is more important.

---

and while you're outside looking in,
describing what you see,
remember what you're looking at is me.

- through glass, stone sour

www.lost.eu/92f5

just cuz i like connect-the-dots.

and i like being a dot.

artist of the day: john mcewen

-----------------

today the roomie and i decorated a gingerbread house.  she made windows and doors and decorative borders.  i made flowers and dinosaurs and salt n pepper shakers.

i guess we might make an okay team, if you're into that sort of thing.

although i may never get the frosting out of the carpet.

-----------------

it's a place where you will learn
to face your fears, retrace the years,
and ride the whims of your mind.

- silent lucidity, queensryche

-----------------

a revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having.

- v in v for vendetta

working on my own little revolution.  starting right inside my chest and pushing its way out through my fingers and toes and hair follicles.

cuz sometimes i get a little too comfortable.  and sometimes anxiety becomes a blanket that puts me to sleep.  [speaking of liz magor...check out siberian husky to know what i'm meaning]

brian's birthday celebration tonight.  and openings at the saag and trianon.  and freezing outside.  it's a good day.

i wanna dance and dance, dance...
oh, we can dance and dance, dance...

- the boogie that be, the black eyed peas

artist of the day: liz magor

i've been really into these canadian women lately.  maybe because i am one of them.  or maybe just because they are the shit.  [ahahaha.  i have probably always wanted to say that.]

anyway, i made a brilliant discovery last night while flipping through an old show catalogue... i was looking at pictures of installed sculpture when suddenly i realized I KNOW THAT WORK and there you have it: pieces installed permanently in my very own lethy are also featured in the catalogue i was researching for my term paper.  kindof makes me feel awesome, i'm not gonna lie.

but not as awesome as buying my saag membership.  that was a special moment.

oh and then this man wants me to join his club maybe.  his CHRISTIAN club.  and be on the leadership team.  which is funny, kindof.  but i am seriously considering it, if only for reasons of comedy/humiliation/masochistic tendencies.

i have a really awful sense of humour, i think.

plus it snowed today, so there.  and i am out of milk.  and i am out of my mind.

--

close, but kindof meatless,
like actors who play Jesus
in movies of the week.

- someone who's cool, odds

i just saw my daddy on the news.  every time that happens, i always exclaim really loudly over it, but there is never anyone around to hear.  my life is full of reruns.

yesterday my sister turned old.  every time that happens, i always feel like she's catching up, but she's not.  [my life is full of reruns.]

i think radiohead must be good for your health.  i just feel that way and i'm not sure why.

in other news, i have been highly productive lately.  if by lately you mean yesterday.  which i do.  i don't know how long i can keep it up though.  i can work hard and i can work long, but i find it very difficult to do both at once.  i'm not very multitaskular.

or muscular.

***********

artist of the day: emily carr

[she was a liar and a player, you know.  but don't tell the british columbians.]

***********

"you    don't          remember  "why   don't   you    remember   my     name?   off   with    his  head.   off  with  his  head  man.   why        won't        he  reme   mber   my   name?   "
        " "i   guess   he   does_  "

- paranoid android, radiohead